Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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