I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
