is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
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His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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