he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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