I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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