I hope mine doesn't look like that
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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