Im at strip club and am horny
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
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