you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize