Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
this just has baby written all over it
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
