I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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