I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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