Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
