Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
