I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
My vagina just clenched in fear
ok first of all what the fuck
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize