A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
