Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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