I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
