half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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