Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
