D3 body, D1 cock
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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