You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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