did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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