Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
