"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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