I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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