I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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