Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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