talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize