just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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