so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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