this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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