I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
