He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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