I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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