There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
no. you can't hotbox the world.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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