Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
