dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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