hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
