quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
