He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize