it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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