nut hugger
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
