She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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