I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
