Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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