he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize