he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
