I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
