Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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