Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
