just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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