He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
