If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
