i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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