Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
