I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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