I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
