Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
