Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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