I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
