so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
