Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
