I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
