Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Randomize
